Saturday, January 3, 2015

Gossip Girl - A Manifesto

Gossip Girl is something everyone should watch. Not just watch, but worship. **WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD! From Blair and Chuck's tumultuous relationship, to Serena's numerous conquests, and the drama of the Upper East Side, this show is a ship without an anchor.

Hallee and I have both watched this show, and this is our list of 14 best characters and reasons why!

1. Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick)
Chuck is freaking fabulous... He has impeccable taste in clothes (after high school, sorry to say but those scarves were hideous) and he fights for what he wants, Bass Industries, his father, Blair. His inheritance and his stunning jawline are just part of an amazing package named Chuck Bass.
(his jaw is stronger than my wifi connection)

2. Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester)
Blair is a feminist, a fashion designer, and Queen B. She's best friends with Serena and she's Chuck's one and only. She's flawless, somehow she manages to combine Audrey Hepburn with Madonna in the way that she dresses, and her personality is completely incomparable to anyone else's. She runs the Upper East Side and rules it like a queen, even being able to banish Jenny Humphrey while throwing the most chic soirees.



3. Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively)
Sure, Serena has her fair share of screw-ups, but all in all, she is an extremely wholesome character. She is charitable, and she almost never takes her family for granted, no matter how messed up it is. She has her vices, drugs, sex, boys, but that doesn't get in the way of her extreme fabulousness. She rules the Upper East Side along with Blair, and her light attitude provides for a lot of opportunities, and a lot of takedowns. She can be conniving, and she is a lot sneakier than she seems, and if it comes to it, she can be a bitch too. She ends up being a successful movie person in LA.


4. Daniel Humphrey (Penn Badgley)
Dan is an outcast at first, but he makes his way into the inner circle by dating Serena in season 1. He's such a good boy on the outside, but on this inside (also the name of his debut book) he's the ultimate gossip. **SPOILERS AHEAD. You honestly never expect that he's Gossip Girl. To be honest, I never saw him that much behind the computer. He measles himself into everyone's lives, making a dent in their reputations and leaving ashes trailing behind him.


5. Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg)
Georgina is the ultimate bitch. Not only does she take over Gossip Girl for a while, but she also takes Blair down. Twice, I think? She always has a plan to destroy someone, and even goes out with Dan. When she returns from Belarus pregnant, she pins the role of the father on Dan, who isn't even the real father, and then leaves her son Milo in Dan's slightly incapable hands. She goes away one summer, and comes back as a nicknamed "Jesus Freak". Nobody believes her act, and they're right to, she just reverts to her old ways, but then earns retribution by taking down Serena's fake cousin Lola/ Ivy.


6. Nathaniel Archibald (Chance Crawford)
Nate is the Upper East Side's Golden Boy. His broken relationship with Blair leads him strait into the arms of Serena, who he ends up with in the end. His father becomes a fraudulent businessman, and flees to the Dominican Republic, leaving his mom and himself to fend for themselves. Their money gets seized, and that leads them to troubled times, making him work hard to get back into his grandfather's good graces, not to mention his Vanderbilt trust fund. Later, he ends up becoming the Editor in Chief of the Spectator, a Gossip Girl type website empire with a degree from Columbia University and a membership to an elitist group of alumnae.



7. Juliet Sharp (Katie Cassidy)
Even though Juliet has a short appearance, she is amazing. She wants to get revenge on Serena for her brother who she thinks got put in jail because she signed an Affidavit that he raped her, when she didn't sign it, and he didn't do it. She swindles Nate into liking her, and in the end has both Vanessa Abrams and Jenny Humphrey working for her.


Ok, so next up is... *cue the drumroll

8. Jenny Humphrey (Taylor Momsen)
Little J will always hold a special place in our hearts. Her story begins when she gets invited into one of Blair's parties, and she becomes one of her minions. Later, she begins to intern for Blair's mother's design label, Waldorf Designs, and meets a psychopath model named Agnes whom she starts her own label with, J Humphrey Designs. Later, Agnes burns all of her dresses and she returns to work for Eleanor, Blair's mother. Jenny then turns into a goth mobster, and sabotages a sweet 16 party that Serena throws for her. After Chuck's first proposal to Blair, Blair realizes she made a mistake, and finds Chuck in bed with Jenny. She then teams up with Juliet to take down Blair.





9. Eric Van Der Woodsen (Connor Paolo)
Eric is perfection. He comes out as gay in the 3rd season, and is best friends with Jenny until she becomes Queen B and dumps yogurt on him and his boyfriend Jonathan's head. All in all he's a good character because he's loyal and freaking gorgeous.


10. Lily Van Der Woodsen (Kelly Rutherford)
Lily has been married 5 times by the end of the series, and, well... she's kinda hopeless. She first gets married to Bartholomew "Bart" Bass, Chuck's father, and when he fake dies, she moves onto Dan's dad, Rufus Humphrey which complicates things for Dan and Serena, which shows that Lily kinda only cares about herself. Then, she faked Serena's signature on an Affidavit and got sentenced to house arrest. All in all, she's kinda a bad person who is selfish and bitchy.


11. Rufus Humphrey (Matthew Settle)
Basically, Rufus is an old fart with a band who gets married to Lily and gets mixed up with Ivy Dickens, Serena's fake cousin.



12. Ivy Dickens (Kaylee DeFer)
Ivy is an actress hired by Lily's sister Carol Rhodes to keep Serena's actual cousin Lola safe. When Lola turns up on the Upper East Side, she exposes Ivy as a fraud, and Ivy begins to mooch money off of Lily, her ex and Serena and Eric's father William, and Rufus. She then gets off of her bipolar medication and proceeds to go after Dan and tries to jump out of a window, but Georgina tells her not to. In reality, no one ever really liked her.


13. William Van Der Woodsen (William Baldwin)
The unlucky 13... William is just there to get ahold of his children, and then ends up running away with Ivy, but not before messing up Serena and Eric's lives, and before revealing to the world that Lola, Serena's real cousin, is his daughter.

14. Lola Rhodes (Ella Rae Peck)
This chick is Serena's real cousin, and her mother tries to hide her from the Van Der Woodsens because she thinks the Upper East Side ruins people, which in reality it does. Lola finds her way to New York when she gets accepted to Juilliard and ends up catering for one of Lily's events, and meets the whole clan. She ends up dating Nate and becoming a bitch, but in the meantime helps out with some of Blair and Serena's schemes. I think that's pretty much it?


xoxo,
Gossip Girl
aka Sophie and Hallee

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